I Always Knew I Didn't Want Kids,

Don't Associate Me With Comedy. And Please Don't Say Actress. I Would Never Call Myself Any Of Those Things. I Hate It When People Call Me That.

Although It Has Been Said That Idle Hands Are The Devil's Workshop, When It Comes To Teenagers, Both Idle And Active Hands Are The Devil's Workshop.

That's Why I Love Improvisational Theater So Much - You Do It [scene] Once And Then It's Done. You Don't Get Bogged Down With A Lot Of Preplanning And Repetition. If I Do Something And It Gets A Laugh, I Don't Want To Do It Again. Why Bother? I'm Just Repeating Myself. It's Boring.

If You Cannot Come To The Party, Do Not Cancel At The Last Minute Or Give A Message To A Child To Inform The Host. And Don't Bother Explaining Why You Can't Attend Because Anything After 'because' Is Bullshit.

Exercise Your Imagination Muscle! How Many Uses Can You Come Up With For A Flowerpot? Write Down Your Answers. But Don't Write Them In This Book. Grab A Separate Sheet Of Paper. I Didn't Spend Two And A Half Weeks Writing A Book Just So You Could Mark Up The Pages With Your Silly Ideas For Things You Can Do With A Flowerpot. When It Comes Down To It, What's Wrong With A Flowerpot Not Being A Flowerpot? Why Is Nothing Ever Good Enough For You?