I Am An Aging Girl Scout.

If You Decide On Having An Alcoholic At Your Party, Make Sure It's A Large Gathering. This Way, Until The Alcoholic Begins Removing Their Clothes Or Dangling The Cat Out The Window, They Can Sort Of Blend In. An Alcoholic At A Small Gathering Is Called An Intervention.

When You Hear Someone Use The Word 'meds' Instead Of The Word 'medicine,' Chances Are They're No Stranger To Massive Doses Of Mind-altering Psychotropic Drugs. Back Out Of The Room Slowly.

I'd Rather Have A Part Where You Walk Into A Room And You Leave. That's Perfect For Me.

Sometimes Losing A Pet Is More Painful Than Losing A Human Because In The Case Of The Pet, You Were Not Pretending To Love It.

If I'm Creating Something For Myself, Then I Want To Have Fun.