I'm Gonna Do The Whole Bedroom In

I Love Theatrical Props: A Cup Filled With Solid Fake Tea, Say, Or A Collection Of Fake Food, Including A Rubber Turkey, Which, During The Holidays, I Wrap In Tinfoil So It Appears To Have Just Come Out Of The Oven.

It's Natural For Humans To Suppress Urges, For When Our Desires Are Left Unchecked They Lead To Broken Relationships, Prison Time, And Forest Fires.

There's Humor In Everything. There's Gotta Be Humor In Everything.

Don't Answer The Door In A Wedding Dress And Veil, He Might Not Think You're Joking.

I Was Just A Kid. I Think I Stole A Candy Bar. I Remember Feeling So Terrible. It Was The Worst Shock. I Was Probably 7. That's My Least Favorite Feeling: Guilt.