How Wise Are Thy Commandments O Lord.

Our Toaster Has Two Settings: Too Soon Or Too Late.

The Chaplain Of The Senate Does Not Pray For The Senate. He Watches The Senate And Prays For The Country.

For Attractive Lips, Speak Words Of Kindness. For Lovely Eyes, Seek Out The Good In People. For A Slim Figure, Share Your Food With The Hungry. For Beautiful Hair, Let A Child Run Their Fingers Through It Once A Day. For Poise, Walk With The Knowledge That You Never Walk Alone. People, More Than Things, Have To Be Restored, Renewed, Revived, Reclaimed, And Redeemed. Remember, If You Ever Need A Helping Hand, You Will Find One At The End Of Each Of Your Arms. As You Grow Older, You Will Discover That You Have Two Hands, One For Helping Yourself And The Other For Helping Others.

There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe She Had So Many Children Her Government Subsidy Check Came To $4,892.

The Simplest Toy, One Which Even The Youngest Child Can Operate, Is Called A Grandparent.