Hi, I'm Bill. I'm A Birth Survivor.

When You Want To Make It Clear To The Rest Of The World That You Are Not An Imperialist, The Best Countries To Have With You Are Britain And Spain.

I Do Think The Patriotic Thing To Do Is To Critique My Country. How Else Do You Make A Country Better But By Pointing Out Its Flaws?

It's A Little Strange When You Have Never Been To War, And You Eye-roll About A Guy Who's Got Shrapnel Still In His Body, As Chuck Hagel Does.

Wichita Falls, Texas Is Considering Using Toilet Water For Drinking. And A Dog There Today Said, 'white People's Problems.'

New Rule: You're Never Going To Pick Up Women At A Coffee Shop Pretending To Be Working On Your Laptop. You Don't Look Like You're Sensitive, You Look Like You're Homeless.the Last Guy To Pick Up A Chick With An Apple Was Adam. And When You Sit Across From Another Dateless Loser With A Laptop, It Still Doesn't Look Like You're Working--it Looks Like You're Playing Battleship.