I Pray If I Ever Find Out

It Doesn't Bother Me That I'm Not A Household Word On The East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm So Popular In These Cities Where You've Never Imagined An East Coast Comedian Working.

Incredibly, Almost Every Hotel I Ever Played In Vegas Was Blown Up Shortly Afterward: The Dunes, The Sands, The Landmark, The Aladdin, The Frontier, The Hacienda, The Stardust - All Were Imploded.

I Can't Get Married. I Can't Fake Sleep For 30 Years.

My Fashion Philosophy Is, If You're Not Covered In Dog Hair, Your Life Is Empty.

When I Was Growing Up In Comedy, There Were Maybe 10 Comics In The Whole Country. Everyone Had A Day Job. You Worked Free For Years In Little Clubs, Then You Got Your Big Break And Became A Star.