He Does Have That Weird Mixture Of

It Amazes Me That We Are All On Twitter And Facebook. By "we" I Mean Adults. We're Adults, Right? But Emotionally We're A Culture Of Seven-year-olds. Have You Ever Had That Moment When Are You Updating Your Status And You Realize That Every Status Update Is Just A Variation On A Single Request: "would Someone Please Acknowledge Me?

There's A Fine Line Between Cultural Criticism And Bitterness.

I Knew Most Of My Radio Listeners Were Lefty Political People, And I Decided Definitively Not To Be That Guy - Not To Address Politics.

I Used To Be Jealous; I'm Not Jealous Anymore. And A Miracle Happened To Me, Because If You're Jealous, It's A Cancer, It's A Plague On Your Spirit, It Really Is. And I Actually Cured Jealousy In A Very Weird Way - I Cured It With Mathematics. And I'm Not A Math Person At All, But I've Been With My Wife For About Seven Years, So We Have Had Sex Probably, I'd Like To Think, Like, 9 Million Times Or, At Least, 1,500. So, The Way I Figured It, If She Goes Out And Screws Some Other Guy Once - I'm Still Winning.

I'm Just Saying, 'hey, Throw Me A Bone. How About A Smile, Cute T-shirt? Look At Me.' Nothing - Unless It's A Turn To Their Friends To Go, 'hey, Why Is That Weird Guy Looking At Us?'