He Does Have That Weird Mixture Of

I'm Sad To See The Passing Of The Great Drug Warriors. I Certainly Did My Part In That Battle And I Don't Regret Any Of It.

I Was Married Once Before, And I Stopped.

Most Of The Comics That I Talk To I've Never Talked To For More Than Ten Minutes Ever. So 95 Percent Of The Time You're Really Hearing The First Conversation Between Me And That Guy On The Podcast.

That’s The Big Challenge Of Life—to Chisel Disappointment Into Wisdom So People Respect You And You Don’t Annoy Your Friends With Your Whining.

I Used To Be Jealous; I'm Not Jealous Anymore. And A Miracle Happened To Me, Because If You're Jealous, It's A Cancer, It's A Plague On Your Spirit, It Really Is. And I Actually Cured Jealousy In A Very Weird Way - I Cured It With Mathematics. And I'm Not A Math Person At All, But I've Been With My Wife For About Seven Years, So We Have Had Sex Probably, I'd Like To Think, Like, 9 Million Times Or, At Least, 1,500. So, The Way I Figured It, If She Goes Out And Screws Some Other Guy Once - I'm Still Winning.