I Was Married Once Before, And I

I’m Glad To Be Part Of The War On Sadness. I’m A Part Time Employee Of The Illusion That Keeps People Stupid.

I Just Wanted To Be A Good Comic And Had No Sense Of Show Business, But At Some Point You Want The Opportunity To Write A Show About Your Life.

Most Of My Comedy Writing Happens Through Improvisation On Stage; Doing It In The Moment.

How Complicated Can Ice Cream Flavors Be? How Much Can You Put In There? I Mean, When The Flavor's Something Like Banana Ice Cream With Caramel, Fudge Chunks, Cheddar Goldfish And Pennies - You've Got To Draw A Line There.

Let's Be Honest, This Is A Consumer Based Economy In America. That's All We Manufacture Here Is Need And Appetite. We Are The World's Mouth. They Make Things In Other Countries, And They're Like, 'send It To America; They'll Eat It.'