He Changed More Times Than A Baby

I Calculated The Total Time That Humans Have Waited For Web Pages To Load. It Cancels Out All The Productivity Gains Of The Information Age. Sometimes I Think The Web Is A Big Plot To Keep People Like Me Away From Normal Society.

Remind People That Profit Is The Difference Between Revenue And Expense. This Makes You Look Smart.

Dilbert: It Took Weeks But I've Calculated A New Theory About The Origin Of The Universe. According To My Calculations It Didn't Start With A "big Bang" At All-it Was More Of "phhbwt" Sound. You May Be Wondering About The Practical Applications Of The "little Phhbwt" Theory. Dogbert: I Was Wondering When You'll Go Away.

The Day You Realize That Your Efforts And Rewards Are Not Related, It Really Frees Up Your Calendar.

I Can't Bring Myself To Believe In A God With A Personality Like My Own. I Base That On The Paucity Of Lightning Attacks On People Who Deserve It.