Having Children Is Like Living In A

I'm Now Unemployed. It's A Weird Feeling With No Work, But At Least There's Still Golf. Standup Comedy Is Like My Core, It's What I Do. But I Want To Be A Pro Golfer. It's A Love/hate Relationship With Golf. I Can Come Away Feeling So Serene, And Yet, It's The Thing That I Can Let Get To Me To Throw A Club And Say Curses That Don't Even Exist. I'm Obsessed With Something That Won't Let Me Master It. I Don't Know. I Need Therapy.

Having Children Is Like Living In A Frat House - Nobody Sleeps, Everything's Broken, And There's A Lot Of Throwing Up.

I Have The Show Because I'm Insecure. It's My Insecurity That Makes Me Want To Be A Comic, That Makes Me Need The Audience.

As An Actor, That's Nerve-wracking Enough [drunk And Doing Coke] Because You Have To Do It At The Right Level.

My Theory Has Always Been That Everyone In Show Business Is There Because They Were Deprived Of Some Attention As A Child.