You Don't Want To Shock Them And

Parents, Just Keep In Mind That Kids Will Always Round Off To The Nearest Obscenity.

I Do What I Do Because I Love It.

My Wife Gets So Jealous. She Came Home From Work And Was Mad At Me Because There Was A Pretty Girl On The Bus She Thought I Would Have Liked.

Sex After One Child Shows Down. After Twins... Ooh... I'll Tell You What It Is For Us. I'll Share It With You. Every Three Months. We Don't Plan It That Way. That's Just How It Works Out. It's The Weirdest Thing. You Know What I Do? Every Time I Have Sex, The Next Day I Pay My Estimated Tax. My Quarterlies Are Due. If It's Oral Sex, I Renew My Driver's License.

Without Identical Twins, You'll Never Get To Experience Entering A Hotel Room With One Of Them And Watching Him Run Into The Full-length Mirror Because He Though He Saw His Brother.