Having A Baby Can Be A Scream.

Nothing Is Yours Permanently So You Better Enjoy It While It's Happening.

If You Don't Want Gays In The Military, Make The Uniforms Ugly.

Run Scared ... And They Never Catch You.

Comedy - And I Say This With Humility - Comedy Needs Me.

I Love Gay And Lesbian Parents. But I Think We Need A Law That Says Lesbians And Gay Men Have To Raise Their Children Together. This Way, The Kids Would Not Only Know How To Build Bookshelves, But They'd Also Instinctively Know How To Decorate Them.