I Was The Last Girl In Larchmont,

If You Don't Want Gays In The Military, Make The Uniforms Ugly.

Before We Make Love My Husband Takes A Pain Killer. I Blame My Mother For My Poor Sex Life. All She Told Me Was, 'the Man Goes On Top And The Woman Underneath'. For Three Years My Husband And I Slept On Bunk Beds. I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off. It's So Long Since I've Had Sex, I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Whom. My Best Birth Control Now Is To Leave The Lights On.

Having My Daughter, I Screamed For Twenty-three Hours Straight. And That Was Just During Conception.

Anyone That Says Looks Don't Count Is Lying.

Run Scared ... And They Never Catch You.