Good Taste Is The Enemy Of Comedy.

Critics Can't Even Make Music By Rubbing Their Back Legs Together.

You Cannot Have Fun With Anything That You Don't Love Or Admire Or Respect.

Tragedy Is What Happens To Me; Comedy Is What Happens To You.

You Want Me To Admit I'm A Four-foot, Six-inch Freckle-faced Person Of Jewish Extraction? I Admit It. All But The Extraction. But Being Short Never Bothered Me For Three Seconds. The Rest Of The Time I Wanted To Commit Suicide.

I've Been Taught Ever Since I Was A Kid That Sex Is Filthy And Forbidden, And That's The Way I Think It Should Be. The Filthier And More Forbidden It Is, The More Exciting It Is.