George Bush Hates Midgets.

You Just Got To Be Really Logical When You're A Comedian - To A Fault. Like A Lawyer's Got To Believe In The Law.

The Only Reaction That Frightens Me Is People Not Laughing. It's Extraordinary To Me When You Get A Laugh. That You Can Go In Front Of A Bunch Of People You Never Met Before, You Can Say Some Stuff And They All Laugh In Unison - That's Amazing. It's A Miracle.

You Know Those Guys That Go To The Strip Club At The Daytime? If You're At A Strip Club, And The Sun Is Out, You Got Some Problems!

Here's What I Knew About Doing A Play: I Knew It Would Make Me A Better Actor.

A White Boy That Makes C's In College Can Make It To The White House.