George Bush Hates Midgets.

A White Boy That Makes C's In College Can Make It To The White House.

America Is The Only Place Where People Go Hunting On A Full Stomach.

Does Having A Wife And Kids Change Your Act? Yes, But Only In The Best Way. It Gives You Weight And Authority. It Also Makes You Closer To The Audience Because The Audience Is Married And Has Kids.

We Were So Poor My Daddy Unplugged The Clocks When We Went To Bed.

Even If You Meet The Perfect Person, It Ain’t Gonna Be At The Perfect Time. You’re Married, They’re Single. That’s Right. You’re Jewish, They’re Palestinian. You’re A Mexican, They’re A Raccoon. You’re A Black Woman, He’s A Black Man.