Forty For You, Sixty For Me. And

There Is Nothing Funny About Aging: It Is Rotten And Depressing. Anyone Who Tells You Otherwise Just Hasn't Been Paying Attention.

You Know It's Time To Start Using Mouthwash When Your Dentist Leaves The Room And Sends In A Canary.

I’m Never Without A Bandage.

Why Should I Cook For My Husband? So He Can Tell A Hooker I Make A Delicious Cake?

The Glass Is Always Half Empty. All Good Comedians Are Manic-depressive.