Forty For You, Sixty For Me. And

My Love Life Is Like A Piece Of Swiss Cheese; Most Of It's Missing, And What's There Stinks.

I Started My Career In A Town So Small The Local Clinic Was Called Fred's Hospital And Grill.

I've Learned To Have Absolutely No Regrets About Any Jokes I've Ever Done. You Can Tune Me Out, You Can Click Me Off, It's Ok. I Am Not Going To Bow To Political Correctness.

My Husband Wanted To Be Cremated. I Told Him I'd Scatter His Ashes At Neiman Marcus - That Way, I'd Visit Him Every Day.

I Was Not An Attractive Child. When I Didn't Use My Girl Scouts Uniform As A Uniform, I Used It As A Tent.