For The Majority Of The Time, I

I Have A Couple Of 'doing Caps' In My Wallet. That's What I Call Condoms.

Acting Is A Plum Gig, And Then Animation Is An Even More Plum Gig.

No One's Trying To Get With Jugglers.

She Broke Up With Me. Didn't Really Tell Me Why. Luckily When You're The Guy, You Can Just Tell People She's Crazy. 'hey, Tom, I Heard You And Lucy Broke Up.' 'yeah, Man. Turns Out, She's Crazy.' That's What They Always Do On Entourage.

After You Do A Joke A Few Times, You Have Material That You Know Works. Although Sometimes I Have A Joke That Has Worked A Bunch Of Times And Then One Night It’ll Flop. And That’s When I Really Take A Hard Look At Myself And Say: "well, That Crowd Is Obviously Wrong. That Crowd Has Absolutely No Idea What It’s Talking About."