I'm Like An Elephant, Ok? If I

My Dad Grew Up Basically In A Hut In Taiwan Without Enough Food To Eat. And Within One Generation His Son In America Gets To Do A Comedy Show About Whatever He Wants.

Most People Would Say 'the Deets', But I Say 'the Tails'. Just Another Example Of Innovation.

I'm In A Situation With This Girl That's As Hopeless As Overthrowing The Bush Administration.

I Prefer Being Totally Sober Myself.

I Have An Amazing Metabolism. I'm Sure That'll Be Gone One Day. But I Like To Exercise, Too, So I Don't Think I'll Ever Get Really Fat.