I'm Like An Elephant, Ok? If I

I Was A Dishwasher At One Of Those Japanese Places That Cook On Your Table. Not Too Fun.

When I Bet On Horses, I Never Lose. Why? I Bet On All The Horses.

We've Always Been Divided By Some Of These Big Political Issues. It's Fine. As Long As We Treat Each Other With Respect And Remember That Ultimately, We're All Americans, We'll Be Fine.

With Stand-up, It's More Interesting To Hear About People's Failures Than Their Successes.

I'm Kind Of Obsessed With Food. I Like To Eat.