For As Long As I Can Remember,

Wives Live Longer Than Husbands Because They're Not Married To Women.

Please Call Your Second Witness, And Then Call Your Mother, She Worries.

When You Kill Someone By Chopping Off Their Head, Rolling 'em Up In A Carpet And Burning It, You'd Better Make Sure They're Dead!

I'm A Traveling Practical Joker. That's My Line Of Work.

Nine Out Of Ten Americans Believe That Out Of Ten People, One Person Will Always Disagree With The Other Nine!