Wives Live Longer Than Husbands Because They're

I Think The Challenge Is Going Out In Front Of A Paying Audience With Absolutely Nothing And Trying To Entertain Them For Two Hours. Thankfully, I Only Think About That Right Before We Go On, And Then Once We're Out There, Everything's Fine.

Hi. There Was A Big Accident, Some People Got Decapitated, Here Are Their Names... You Know What? That Shirt Really Makes You Look Fat. I Mean, The Colour's All Wrong... I Mean, Who Shot The Drapes?

The People Who Influenced Me Most Were The People Who Said I Would Never Make It. They Gave Me A Thirst For Revenge.

I Was A Bookworm. Every Week I'd Go To The Library And Get Seven Books. Remember Libraries? I Wonder If People Still Go. And I Learned About Everything From The Library. I Came From A Scottish Family. Old School.

Our Top Story Tonight: Famous Tv Dolphin Flipper Was Arrested Today On Prostitution Ring Charges. He Allegedly Was Seen Transporting Two 16 Year Olds Across State Line For Immoral Porpoises.