Everything I've Ever Told You, Including This,

Everything I've Ever Told You, Including This, Is A Lie.

I Saw An Advertisement The Other Day For The Secret Of Life. It Said "the Secret Of Life Can Be Yours For Twenty-five Shillings. Sent To Secret Of Life Institute, Willesden." So I Wrote Away, Seemed A Good Bargain, Secret Of Life, Twenty-five Shillings. And I Got A Letter Back Saying, "if You Think You Can Get The Secret Of Life For Twenty-five Shillings, You Don't Deserve To Have It. Send Fifty Shillings For The Secret Of Life."

I Would Much Prefer To Be A Judge Than A Coal Miner Because Of The Absence Of Falling Coal.

The Garden Of Eden Was A Boggy Swamp Just South Of Croydon. You Can See It Over There.

All Right, You Great Git, You've Asked For It. I'll Cover The World In Tastee-freez And Wimpy Burgers. I'll Fill It With Concrete Runways, Motorways, Aircraft, Television, Automobiles, Advertising, Plastic Flowers, Frozen Food And Supersonic Bangs. I'll Make It So Noisy And Disgusting That Even You'll Be Ashamed Of Yourself! No Wonder You've So Few Friends; You're Unbelievable!