Everybody Knows How Lazy He Is. One

Old Age Is When The Liver Spots Show Through Your Gloves.

The Only Time I Ever Enjoyed Ironing Was The Day I Accidentally Got Gin In The Steam Iron.

You Want To Look Younger... Rent Smaller Children.

Mothers-in-law Do Not Make Good House Pets. Once I Had The Most Wonderful Dream -- I Dreamed That Mothers-in-law Cost Money And I Couldn't Afford One.

I Always Wondered How I Could Tell When The Right One Came Along - But It Was Easy. He Was The Only One That Came Along.