Every Time I Go Near The Stove,

Self-pity Is Better Than None.

We Spend The First Twelve Months Of Our Children's Lives Teaching Them To Walk And Talk And The Next Twelve Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.

Like All Good Ruins, I Look Better By Moonlight.

In Most States You Can Get A Driver's License When You're Sixteen Years Old, Which Made A Lot Of Sense To Me When I Was Sixteen Years Old But Now Seems Insane.

Once My Husband Said To Me, 'i'm Going To Have Some Coffee. Do You Want Me To Put Some Hot Water On For You?' I Thought That Was The Least He Could Do Considering I Was Giving Birth.