I Had A Chicken Finger That Was

There's A Guy In The Audience With A Distinctive Laugh. I Hope That Guy Is Miked. The Only Problem With Having A Distinctive Laugh Is I Know Exactly When That Guy Isn't Laughing. "oh, Distinctive Laugh Doesn't Think That Joke Was Funny!"

I Don't Want To Have My Face On The Cover Of A Wheaties Box. I Wanna Have My Face On The Cover Of A Rice Krispies Box. "snap, Krackle, Mitch And Pop"!

My Sister Wanted To Be An Actress, But She Never Made It. She Does Live In A Trailer. She Got Halfway. She's An Actress, She Just Never Gets Called To The Set.

I Like Kinko's, Because They're Open 24 Hours. If It's 5 Am And I Decide I Need Two Of Something, I'm Covered! Sometimes I Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night In A Cold Sweat, And Then I Think, "oh, Yeah. Kinko's. No Problem. That Will Not Remain Singular."

I'm Into Carpooling, Because Sometimes My Car Gets Hot And Needs To Refresh Itself.