I Had A Chicken Finger That Was

I Think Pringles Initial Intention Was To Make Tennis Balls. But On The Day That The Rubber Was Supposed To Show Up, A Big Truckload Of Potatoes Arrived. But Pringles Is A Laid Back Company. They Said, "screw It. Cut 'em Up!"

I Like When They Say A Movie Is Inspired By A True Story. That's Kind Of Silly. "hey, Mitch, Did You Hear That Story About That Lady Who Drove Her Car Into The Lake With Her Kids And They All Drowned?" "yeah, I Did, And You Know What - That Inspires Me To Write A Movie About A Gorilla!"

My Fake Plants Died Because I Did Not Pretend To Water Them.

This Product That Was On Tv Was Available For Four Easy Payments Of $19.95. I Would Like A Product That Was Available For Three Easy Payments And One Complicated Payment. We Can't Tell You Which Payment It Is, But One Of These Payments Is Going To Be Hard. The Mailman Will Get Shot, The Envelope Will Not Seal, The Stamp Will Be In The Wrong Denomination. The Final Payment Must Be Made In Wampum.

I Got A Business Card Because I Wanna Win Some Lunches. That's What My Business Card Says: Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner. Gimme A Call, Maybe We'll Have Lunch. If I'm Lucky!