I Had A Chicken Finger That Was

I Used To Drink Wine. This Girl Asked Me, "doesn't Wine Give You A Headache?" "yeah, Eventually, But The First And The Middle Part Are Amazing!"

I Hate Sandwiches At New York Delis. Too Much Meat On The Sandwich. It's Like A Cow With A Cracker On Either Side. "would You Like Anything Else With The Pastrami Sandwich?" "yeah, A Loaf Of Bread And Some Other People!"

Xm Radio Doesn't Have Commercials, So After About Thirty Minutes Of Listening To It, I'm Like, "what Should I Buy?"

I Like To Hold The Microphone Cord Like This, I Pinch It Together, Then I Let It Go, Then You Hear A Whole Bunch Of Jokes At Once.

I Thought My Teeth Were White Until I Washed My Face With Noxzema. My Teeth Are Off-white. I'm Not Even White. I'm Off-white. It's A New Race; We Will Prevail!