Every Fight Is A Food Fight When

Wind Chimes Are Also Earthquake Chimes.

Relationships, Like Eyebrows, Are Better When There Is Space Between Them.

Never Be Less Interesting Than Your Refrigerator Magnets.

Sometimes If I Really Want To Get Someone's Attention, I'll Start A Sentence With Something Like, "i'm Not Racist, But..." I Say, "i'm Not Racist, But You Look Great Today." They Say, "that Wasn't Racist At All." I Said, "i Know. I Said I'm Not Racist. You Never Listen. Typical Mexican."

I Was In My Friends Garage, And He Had; A Kite, A Yo-yo, And A Boomerang. I Was Like "dude, You Have Abandonment Issues"