Ever Notice That Soup For One Is

For A Single Woman, Preparing For Company Means Wiping The Lipstick Off The Milk Carton.

There's Only One Difference Between Jews And Catholics. Jews Are Born With Guilt, And Catholics Have To Go To School To Learn It.

Turkeys Know Their Names, Come When You Call, And Are Totally Affectionate. They're Better Than Teenagers.

My Fashion Philosophy Is, If You're Not Covered In Dog Hair, Your Life Is Empty.

When The Sun Comes Up, I Have Morals Again.