Citizens Are All Equal In Politics: We

I Deliver Very Traditionally, And People Aren't Threatened. I Think If I Cursed Or Seemed Wilder, I Couldn't Get Away With The Amount Of Very Opinionated Politics I Get Away With.

For Me, Comedy Is A Day-to-day Report On The Human Condition. It's What's Happening Right Now. I Get Maybe 20 Minutes Of My Act Straight From The Newspaper.

Stand-up Is Like A Movie Every Night. You Write It, Direct It, Produce It, The Audience Votes, And You Go Home. There's Nothing More Satisfying.

The Vatican Is Against Surrogate Mothers. Good Thing They Didn't Have That Rule When Jesus Was Born.

President Bush Said He Didn't Want To Renew The Assault Weapons Ban Because It Might 'infringe On Hunters' Rights'. Who Needs An Ak-47 Machine Gun To Go Hunting? Let Me Tell You Guys Something... If It Takes You 500 Rounds To Bring Down A Deer, I Don't Want You Going To The Bathroom In My House!