Even Though A Number Of People Have

... It's Impossible To Register Any Emotion Without Using Some Muscle Which, In Time, Will Produce A Wrinkle. ... By The Time She Is Thirty, A Starlet Has Been Carefully Taught To Smile Like A Dead Halibut. The Eyes Widen, The Mouth Drops Open, But The Eye Muscles Are Never Involved.

The Only Reason That They Say, 'women And Children First' Is To Test The Strength Of The Lifeboats.

Dearer To Me Than The Evening Star A Packard Car A Hershey Bar Or A Bride In Her Rich Adorning Dearer Than Any Of These By Far Is To Lie In Bed In The Morning

A Lawyer Is Never Entirely Comfortable With A Friendly Divorce, Anymore Than A Good Mortician Wants To Finish His Job And Then Have The Patient Sit Up On The Table.

Now The Thing About Having A Baby - And I Can't Be The First Person To Have Noticed This - Is That Thereafter You Have It.