Even If Times Are Tough And You're

I’m A Ridiculous Person. If You Take Anything Any Comedian Says Seriously, Then You’re Stupid.

Don't Take 'no' For An Answer. Keep Knocking Down Walls Until Someone Says 'yes.'

My Tendency To Make Up Stories And Lie Compulsively For The Sake Of My Own Amusement Takes Up A Good Portion Of My Day And Provides Me With A Peace Of Mind Not Easily Attainable In This Economic Climate.

Can You Imagine Getting A Gun For A Secret Santa? That Is Especially Not A Good Idea If You Work In A Post Office.

The Only Reason I Think I Would Marry A Foreigner Would Be To Have Kids With Weird Accents.