Envy, Like A False Mirror, Distorts The

I Never Do Impressions, But I Probably Should. People Like That Stuff.

Ever See This? It's A Homeless Guy But He's Got A Dog... The Dog's Really Thrilled With This Idea. The Dog's Going, Hey Pal, I Can Do This By Myself Pretty Well. The Longest Walk In The World You Got Me On Here.

This Is A Thing I Read By A Scientist... It Said Scientists Now Say That A Man Thinks About Sex Once Every 7.3 Seconds. Now, I Know What I Think Every 7.3 Seconds. It's Just A Bunch Of Meaningless Gibberish.

We Advise Others Better Than Ourselves.

In Terms Of Merit, Sports Has Mathematical Statistics. That's How You Know Who The Best Player Is.