I Never Do Impressions, But I Probably

I Was In My Peak Physical Condition When I Was About Like, Uh... One. Oh God, I Looked Good, Young And Fresh! You Wouldn't Know Me Now If You'd Seen Me When I Was One, You Know? I Even Looked Good For My Age. People Would Come Up To Me And Go, What Are You, Zero? And I'd Go, No, I'm One Over Here!

When I Started In Canada, I Just Did Stand-up.

I've Been In Theaters. Like Brian Regan, Who I Love - Loved Him So Much More When He Did The Improvs. And Then In A Big Theater - Nobody's That Good.

[sam] Kinison, When He Started Out, He'd Come To Canada When I Was First Starting, And He'd Always [bomb].

I Don't Know The Difference Between A Hippie And A Hipster But, It's Fun To Watch Either One Of Them Get Beat Up.