I Never Do Impressions, But I Probably

Chastity Is Oftener Owing To Diffidence And Shame, Than To Fortitude Of Reason Or Virtue.

When I Was A Kid, Everybody That Played Golf Was An Old Man. Until Tiger Showed Up, They Weren't In Very Good Shape.

There Are Two Indiscretions That Generally Distinguish Fools: A Readiness To Report Whatever They Hear, And A Practice Of Communicating With Secrecy What Is Commonly Understood.

I Don't Have Any Ego About It, But I Find There's Not A Great Work Ethic In Show Business. A Lot Of People Are In It To Make Money, And Coming From Stand-up, You Have To Work So Hard Because Almost Nothing Works, And If You Lose The Audience For Three Minutes, You're Dead.

I Don't Know Anything About Politics. I Wouldn't Put Too Much Into My Prediction On Politics.