Elected Office Holds More Perks Than Elvis'

Hey, What If Those Crop Circles Are Just Ads For Target?

I Love This Country For Several Reasons, Not The Least Of Which Is That I Know I'm Allowed To Hate It If I Want To.

When I Went To College, I Lived On Campus, And The Guys I Hung Out With Made The Characters In Revenge Of The Nerds Look Like The Rat Pack In 1962. I, Myself Made That Kid Booger Look Like Remington Steele.

The Death Penalty Is Becoming A Way Of Life In This Country.

And I've Always Been Paranoid. I Can Remember As A Baby My Mother Would Spin The Mobile Above My Head And Thinking..."yeah, That's Coming Down."