Even The Best Psychiatrist Is Like A

The World Is So Ass-backwards It Almost Makes You Wish You Were Dyslexic.

The Only Way The French Are Going In Is If We Tell Them We Found Truffles In Iraq.

Look, We're Americans: Optimistic, Addicted To The Quick Fix, Constantly On The Hunt For The New And Exotic. It's Much Easier For Us To Accept A Guy With A Big White Beard Hawking His Own Custom Blend Of Saw Palmetto And Squirrel Dandruff That It Is To Hear A Real Doctor Telling Us To Lay Off The Big Macs, And Get Off Our Fat Asses And Take A Walk Every Decade Or So.

If Bill Gates Is Worth $30 Billion Then A Good Haircut Must Cost $31 Billion

Twitter! Never Have Lives Been Less Lived And More Chronicled!