Dog's Listen, Or Appear To Listen. I

The Greatest Missile In The World Is Useless ... Unless It's Targeted. A Torpedo Is Adrift Unless It Has Someplace To Go. An Arrow Is Pointless Unless It Hits Something. So It's Important For Kids--for Everyone, Even If You Fail At First--to Target Something And Head In That Direction. With All Your Might.

I Love Women. I Actually Prefer Girls, As A Parent, Because They Disappoint At A Different Age. They Go Through That, "dad's An Idiot," Which Lasted A Little Longer Than I'd Like.

Women Are Brilliant. Every Woman Knows How To Do The Weirdest Thing Right Out Of The Bucket. Every Woman Knows How To Do That Hindu Head Wrap With The Towel Out Of The Shower. A Typhoon Couldn't Blow That Thing Off Their Heads. Ever Try To Do That? You Look Like A Drunk Iraqi Soldier.

Men Aren't Allowed To Have Self-esteem, Because We're Already Supposed To Have All The Power.... But Most Men Earn Less Than They Want, Barely The Minimum Wage. They're Drones. They Do Stuff They Don't Want To Do To Support Their Families, And They're Not Sure Why They Do It. They Don't Know What They're Doing Half The Time, And Any Time We Stick Up For Ourselves, We're Pigs Because We Don't Know How To Articulate Our Frustrations And Joys.

I Used To Live An Isolated Existence, Even In Relationships, But Now My Family Knows Me For Who I Really Am. Mostly, That's A Good Thing.