Disgusting. I Just Found My Grandpa's Viagra.

When I Was Little, I Would Burn Ants With A Magnifying Glass. But Now That I'm Older, I'm More Of A Cat Guy.

Halloween Is Just A Made Up Holiday, Created By The Razor Blade Industry.

You Look Like You Deep Fry Your Hands Before You Bite Your Fingernails.

I Prefer To Sleep With Deaf Girls. Those Crazy Chicks Never Have A Safe Word.

My Girlfriend Wants An Open Relationship. I Said No Way. What Kind Of Man Would I Be If I Had To Tell My Friends I Date You?