I Would Never Hit A Woman -

This Past Christmas, I Told My Girlfriend For Months In Advance That All I Wanted Was An Xbox. That's It. Beginning And End Of List, Xbox. You Know What She Got Me? A Homemade Frame With A Picture Of Us From Our First Date Together. Which Was Fine. Because I Got Her An Xbox.

Child Molesters Must All Think They've Got Huge Dicks.

I Don't Have A Type, Really. But I've Always Been More Attracted To Girls Who Yell Fire.

I Don't Get Back As Much As I'd Like To, So I Don't Have A Lot Of Close Ties [pittsburgh], But I'll Bleed Black And Gold Until I Die.

I Like To Play Pranks On My Girlfriend, You Know, Keep Things Fresh For Me, Make Me Laugh, You Know? She Hates It. But Like, The Other Night, I Put Saran Wrap Over The Toilet Seat, You Know, Which Doesn't Sound That Original, But She's Bulimic.