Damn Referees, I'll Miss Them Less Than

They Wanted To Buy Out My Contract, But I Couldn't Make Change For A $20, So They Had To Let Me Stay.

You Always Catch The Wrong Players.

I Don't Understand These New Coaches Who Don't Drink. What Do They Do When They Get Beat?

I'd Rather Be A Football Coach. That Way You Only Lose Eleven Games A Year.

If I Make A Set Of Rules, Then A Guy Goes Out And Steals An Airplane. He Comes Back And Says, 'it Wasn't In The Rules.'