Conversation Like Television Set On Honeymoon... Unnecessary.

I Writhe When I See Myself On The Screen. I'm Such A Dreadfully Clumsy Hulking Image. I Say To Myself, "why Doesn't He Get Off? Why Doesn't He Get Off?" I Mean, I Look Like Such An Idiot. Some Fat Awkward Thing Dredged Up From Some Third-rate Drama Company. I Must Stop Thinking About It, Otherwise I Shan't Be Able To Go On Working.

I Am Here To Fix The Problem With Yer Pheaun.

If I Can't Really Find A Way To Live With Myself, I Can't Expect Anyone Else To Live With Me.

To Label Any Subject Unsuitable For Comedy Is To Admit Defeat.

I'm A Classic Example Of All Humorists - Only Funny When I'm Working.