Computers Aren't Intelligent, They Only Think They

I Saw A Psychologist Once Because I Thought I Had Depression. It Cost Me $100. When I Left, I Realised That There's Nothing He Could Have Said That Would Cheer Me Up As Much As If I Found A $100 Bill On My Way Home.

Christmas Seems To Start Earlier And Earlier Every Year. Like, This Time, It's On December 25th.

I Don't Have To Tell You Folks About Scuba Diving. So, That'll Save Some Time.

My Girlfriend Said, Just Buy Me Something Crazy And Expensive, Something I Don't Even Need! So, I Signed Her Up For Radiation Treatment.

Countries Are Making Nuclear Weapons Like There Is No Tomorrow.