Comedy Is The Ultimate Anarchist.

Why Go To A Church To Worship God? A Church Is Man Made. God Never Said, "and Let There Be Aluminum Siding." Climbing A Tree To Talk To God Sounds Like A Better Idea Since Only God Can Make A Tree. And If That Tree's On A Golf Course, All The Better.

Man Is The Only Animal To Borrow Tools.

I Think There's A Percentage [of The Audience] That Don't Realize, That Don't Know That [standup] Is How Everything Began. We Planned It, We Work Hard, Rehearsals To Get This. It's More Of A ... It's Not Just Coming In There In A T-shirt And Holding A Microphone.

I'm A Pretty Solid Christian. But Even As An Altar Boy, I Was Always Asking The Bigger Questions--you Know: If God Is, In Fact, Good, What Is All This Death I See? And If God Is Gentle, What Is All This Suffering I See? I've Found Some Of The Answers In Eastern Religion. It Explained My Christianity To Me. Good And Evil Are The Same Thing. You Can't Have One Without The Other. It's The Balance, It's The Temperance Of Things.

I Grew Up Around Hunters. I Love Guns, Bows, Arrows, Compasses And Binoculars. I Don't Do Any Of That Stuff, I Just Like The Stuff. I Shot One Animal, In My Life, And I Didn't Like It. If I Had To Skin An Animal To Eat It, I'd Probably Eat Vegetables.