Children Love Me, Dammit!

I Wasn't Surprised At All. In Fact, I Thought, Why Stop There? Why Not Add The Big Show, Or Chris Jericho, Or The Whole State Of Nebraska For That Matter? And Don't You Think A Wrestling Ring Is A Little Old School, Lilian? Why Not Put The Match In A Shark Tank, With Real Live Sharks? Hungry Sharks! And The Only Way To Beat Your Opponent Is To Stuff Him Down A Shark's Throat, And Pin The Shark. Wouldn't That Be A Hoot?

Ive Been Chastised For Going Into Mixed Martial Arts And Backing Out. But The Reason I Backed Out Was The Terms - They Wanted Me Ready To Fight In Four Weeks, But Youve Got To Be Out Of Your Mind. So I Decided To Go Back To My Roots, Back To Wrestling.

I Have A Little Nursery Rhyme For All You Children Out There, Something Even The Godfather Can Understand. 'you Can Prance And You Can Dance, But When It Comes To Relations, Keep It In Your Pants.

If Your Olympic Hero Were To Use The Worm In The 1996 Olympic Games, It Would Be So Embarassing To All The Other Atheletes - And Our Country, Mind You- That The Usa Would Have Finished Behind Guam.

I Just Got Pinned By A Freakin' Twelve Year Old.