Childhood Obesity Affects All Pedophiles.

I Think A Theater Show Is A Pure Version Of Me Doing My Material. The Theater Crowd Is A Bit More Polite, There Really Aren't Hecklers, And There Are A Lot Of People There To See Me, And They're Excited About The Jokes And Hanging Out With Me For A Show.

I Killed A Squirrel Once With A Car. Twice With A Tennis Racket.

Every Year I Volunteer At A Hospital On Thanksgiving, Deep-frying Turkeys In The Children's Burn Unit. I Do It Just To See The Looks On Their Little "faces."

I'm Actually A Really Nice Guy, Once You Get To Blow Me.

It Was Important To Me To Be Cool As A Comedian. I Didn't Want To Be A Crowd-pleaser Who Sent Out The Vibe Of, "i Need You Guys." I Wanted To Be So Cool That The Audience Could Leave And I Would Still Be Killing, That I Didn't Want To Have To Rely On Them Or Need Them. That Really Appealed To Me.