Charlie Sheen Is To Stand-up What Larry

With Everybody Having A Facebook And A Twitter, I Feel Like Regular People Consider Themselves Stars. It's A Live, Real-time Upload Of Every Time We Buy A Pair Of Socks, The Most Telling Sign That We're Losing Our Politeness. When You Know Everything About Somebody, You Can Talk To Them Any Way You Please.

As Soon As You Start Analyzing Comedy Is When The World Starts To Fall Apart, And We're Second Guessing It. And We Are Way Too Sensitive.

It's Very Rare That An Older Comedian Sort Of Slips Into An Old-school Clunker. You Know, You Don't Hear Too Much Of That Anymore.

I Want The Roast To Be Like A Party Where Everybody Goes And Has A Good Time.

I've Always Liked Cops, As Much As You Can Like A Group Of People, You Know? Sure, I've Been Hassled, But I'm A White Dude - Privileged.