Charlie Sheen Is To Stand-up What Larry

I Like To Roast Things From The Inside Out. I Like To Know What's Going On.

I've Actually Tried To Roast Somebody That I Don't Like, And It Doesn't Go Well. Either They're A Bad Sport Or I'm Not As Funny As I Could Be.

The Real Question Is How Do You Stay Funny In Your 70s And 80s? And That's A Real Accomplishment, You Know, The Longevity.

Instead Of Running For President, Why Don’t You Try Walking On A Treadmill?

Comedians A Lot Of Times We're On The Road, We're By Our Self. We Come Home To New York To Our Empty One-bedroom Apartment, You Know, And We Need A Place To Go Where You See A Bunch Of Other Miserable People Sit Around And Eat A Corned Beef Sandwich.