Carry An Oar When You Drive. Three

When You Hire A Person To Plan Your Wedding, This Does Not Include Securing The Groom. Plan To Get Married On Friday The 13th. In Years To Come This Will Make It Much Easier To Explain Why Things Turned Out Badly. To Look Beautiful At Your Wedding, Take Time To Plan It. It Took Me A Long Time To Find Two Ugly Bridesmaids And A Frumpy Little Flower Girl.

I Finally Had A Ship Tattooed To My Chest. I Wanted Something On It.

I Was In A Beauty Contest Once. I Not Only Came In Last, I Was Hit In The Mouth By Miss Congeniality.

I Love To Go To The Doctor. Where Else Would A Man Look At Me And Say, 'take Off Your Clothes'?

Self-pity Is Better Than None.