Blind People Can Stay Up Longer Than

They've Found This Spider, In The Jungle. Three Foot Long, It Eats Chicken. Bit Weird, Innit. People Moan Saying That You Shouldn't Lock Animals Up And All The Rest Of It, But To Be Honest I Wish It Was Locked Up. The Idea That It's Roaming In A Jungle... Get It Locked Up.

If You Live In A Glass House, Don't Be Chucking Stuff About.

If You Haven't Got Eyes, You Shouldn't Have Wings

Me In A One-man Tent Crouching Over Carrier Bag. It's Not Just The Lowest Point Of The Trip. It's The Lowest Point Ever. In 38 Years.

When You've Been On A Programme Called 'an Idiot Abroad' Job Offers Aren't Exactly Flying In.