Before A Kid Learns How To Use

There Are More Beauty Parlors Than There Are Beauties.

Christians Talk As Though Goodness Was Their Idea But Good Behavior Doesn't Have Any Religious Origin. Our Prisons Are Filled With The Devout.

When Those Waiters Ask Me If I Want Some Fresh Ground Pepper, I Ask If They Have Any Aged Pepper.

There Are Only A Few Safe Targets Left, Just A Few Groups Of People You Can Say Anything Negative About Without Getting In Trouble For It. I've Made A List Of Safe Targets And I Probably Ought To Stick To Those. Politicians, For Instance. You Can Say Anything You Want About Them, And It Doesn't Matter How Unfair You Are. People Seem To Like It.

One Of The Things We Can Be Sure Of Over The July 4th Weekend Is That News Reports Will Keep Telling Us How Many Of Us Are Going To Die In Automobile Accidents.