Be Careful Of Men Who Are Bald

An Amicable Divorce Is Like A Ventilated Condom; It Just Doesn't Work.

When I Was A Kid, I Had Two Friends, And They Were Imaginary And They Would Only Play With Each Other.

The Closest I Ever Came To A Menage-a-trois Was When I Dated A Schizophrenic.

Men Do Not Like To Admit To Even Momentary Imperfection. My Husband Forgot The Code To Turn Off The Alarm. When The Police Came, He Wouldn't Admit He'd Forgotten The Code... He Turned Himself In.

Husband: A Man Who Buys His Football Tickets Four Months In Advance And Waits Until The Day Before His Anniversary To Buy His Wife A Gift.