At A Rehearsal I Let The Orchestra

I Find Brass Bands Have A Melancholy Sound. All Right Out Of Doors, Of Course - Fifty Miles Away. Like Bagpipes, They Turn What Had Been A Dream Into A Public Nuisance.

A Soprano In Massenet's Don Quixote Complained That She Had Missed Her Entry In The Aria, "because Mr. Challiapin Always Dies Too Soon." "madam, You Must Be Profoundly In Error," Said Sir Thomas, "no Operatic Star Has Yet Died Half Soon Enough For Me."

The English May Not Like Music, But They Absolutely Love The Noise It Makes.

Too Much Counterpoint; What Is Worse, Protestant Counterpoint.

When Asked Whether He Minded If Someone Smoked In A Non-smoking Compartment. Certainly Not If You Don't Object If I'm Sick.