As Far As I'm Concerned, Humans Have

How Come When It's Us, It's An Abortion, And When It's A Chicken, It's An Omelette? Are We So Much Better Than Chickens All Of A Sudden? When Did This Happen; That We Passed Chickens In Goodness? Name Six Ways We're Better Than Chickens. See, Nobody Can Do It! You Know Why? 'cause Chickens Are Decent People.

Heart Disease Has Changed My Eating Habits, But I Still Cook Bacon For The Smell.

Don't Take Guilt Trips. Take A Trip To The Mall, To The Next County, To A Foreign Country, But Not To Where The Guilt Is.

The Only Thing High-definition Television Will Do Is Provide Sharper Images Of The Garbage.

That's Why They Call It The American Dream, Because You Have To Be Asleep To Believe It.