As A Parent, I'd - I'd Be

When I Get Up In The Morning, I Have To Decide What I'm Going To Have For Dinner Or I Can't Get Through The Day.

Modesty Is Not One Of My Virtues.

I'm Only... I'm Only Unhappy When The Reviews Are Bad, But Give Me A Good Review And I'm A... I'm Just Screaming All Over The Place With Joy.

When I Was In The Hospital They Gave Me Apple Juice Every Morning, Even After I Told Them I Didn't Like It. I Had To Get Even. One Morning, I Poured The Apple Juice Into The Specimen Tube. The Nurse Held It Up And Said, 'it's A Little Cloudy.' I Took The Tube From Her And Said, 'let Me Run It Through Again,' And Drank It. The Nurse Fainted.

Comedy Is An Amazing Calling. Once You Get That First Laugh, It's Hard To Turn Away. Then, Of Course, You're Hooked And You Have To Learn How To Survive In The Business.