As A Parent, I'd - I'd Be

I Just Never Saw My Mother In Any Other Room But The Kitchen. There Were Always Pots Going.

That's The Great Thing About New Year's, You Get To Be A Year Older. For Me, That Wasn't Such A Joke, Because My Birthday Was Always Around This Time. When I Was A Kid, My Father Used To Tell Me That Everybody Was Celebrating My Birthday. That's What The Trees Are All About.

The Other Day My House Caught Fire. My Lawyer Said, "shouldn't Be A Problem. What Kind Of Coverage Do You Have?" I Said, "fire And Theft." The Lawyer Frowned. "uh Oh. Wrong Kind. Should Be Fire Or Theft."

I Won't Eat In A Place That Has Suits Of Armor.

As A Parent, I'd - I'd Be A Better Father.